The next hardest thing I've ever done

I realized today that this is really hard!  I mean, I knew before this was going to be tough to loose 55+ lbs in order to reach my goal of being at least one pound lighter than my husband but seriously it's becoming more.  This is easily becoming the hardest thing I have ever done!  Every day I wake up and exercise.  Everyday I eat pre-prepared food. Everyday I avoid thinking about or even looking at the extra desserts from Sunday or Mariah's "Using the potty" reward chocolate.  Everyday, I even have to avoid all white bread and mostly all bread/bad carbs.  This is hard!  I am changing my life!  So a look back at the other hardest things I've ever done--1. 2005 complete a double major B.A. in choral education and vocal performance.  To do that I had 3 semesters of 20+ credits while working full time in order to pay for school.  2. Up and move to go to grad school, leaving the comfort of home and the guy I loved cuz "nothing changes if nothing changes".  3. Shoving one year of grad school into one semester while planning a wedding cuz the guy finally figured out he loved me too.  Two anxiety attacks that semester nearly did me in. 4. Have a child and drop my own career and music dreams to be a mom.  Lots of tears there! 5. Have another child--child birth is no fun especially when your drugs don't work and you've been in labor for 4 days trying not to have the child too early! Plus having that child be in the NICU--lots of tears again.  I can honestly say that trying to loose this weight is the next "hardest thing I've ever done" cuz they just keep getting harder.  All of the above changed my life for the better.  So I know this will too and because I accomplished all those things I know I can do this too.  But how many times will I question myself like I did many times before?  How many times will doubts have to happen before I finally reach the summit and a new life?  Well, I'm going to do it, I am going to work really hard cuz if this is the "next hardest thing" then I need to do it so I can be ready for whatever is coming.

Met my goal!

I met the goal on my chart for 2.5lbs a week.  With the help of 4 lbs last week of course leaving me only a lead of 0.2lbs.  So pushing hard again this week and hopefully my body will respond.  I am actually very excited!  It is crazy how much a don't want sweets now.  They look somewhat disgusting to me.  Crazy!  I can take Hyrum to the gym child-watch now too.  Life is looking good! 

And...beside 4lbs...

I earned 101 points which is $25 dollars towards shopping!  When Shawn came home from camping with oatmeal cream pies, nutty bars and powered donuts I said "No, I want new clothes more and look gooood" over and over then went to look at my favorite clothing websites while he munched with Mariah.  So, now I have carried over from the before pregnancy time $90 for the New Year shopping trip!  Oh, and I give myself an extra $10 dollars when I meet my weight loss goal of 2.5lbs/week.  That's motivation! 

Cinnamon, why did I forget about you?

Dang, do I eat food just to get the flavor in my mouth!  I knew this was going to the a problem starting this thing back up again cuz sweet flavored things are delicious!  Well, a few weeks ago in the grocery store I just wanted something...something to taste...something to meet my craving...something to fulfill the desire for flavor!  Then I saw it, cinnamon bears.  I thought, "this might work" and it did!  What flavor!  So, the next week starting this thing up again I bought some Big Red gum and man has it worked!  I get a feeling for flavor and pop a piece of Big Red.  I could be a spokesmen for it!  I've tried the "dessert" flavored gum before and they just get runny but Big Red zaps my mouth and I have something to chew.  This last week I lost 4lbs!  Whenever I finished a meal and want something more I drank a ton of water (which I do before the meal too) and pop some Big Red.  Cinnamon, why did I forget you?  Flavorful cinnamon!  You zap my mouth with spice and sweetness all at once.  Gotta love it!

I'm back

Alright!  Back into the fray.  My goal is new year--new me.  I want to loose 45 pounds by New Years and that will put me one less pound than my husband.  I will weigh less than my husband!!!  I better!  I am keeping track of points again to earn money for a New Year's shopping trip.  Luckily with the point watching, I gained nothing with the pregnancy.  Absolutely nothing.  I am right back to where I was at this point in November.  Here I go!